The Best Feeling Ever by Tracie Bernardi

Seated on my windowsill, I peer through the Plexiglas.

My vision soars straight to the clouds, nothing below appeals to me.

I wonder what freedom will feel like. Suddenly I am there!

It tastes like wild berries dipped in the richest chocolate.

Sweetness tucks itself beneath the fibers of my taste buds.

My saliva builds up in anticipation silently begging for more.

The flavor tiptoes on my tongue. It lingers there. How exquisite.

I feel embraces, it wraps me in its loving arms and conceals me safely

Away like a mother kangaroo cradles her Joey.

My long golden hair whips carefree in the wind. I shake it out, it feels so light.

Ah’ this is freedom…

I savor it once more. I inhale it.

It fills my lungs as I ingest its diving juices.

I begin to claim it, I own it, it is mine!

Without custody’s permission I am free, I’m running barefoot through the clouds,

Leaping from one to the next, no one can stop me. The cottony smooth soft puffs caress

My entire being. I’m tiptoeing on air. The clouds tickle my feet like a million cool

Feathers dancing against my skin. I am swimming through these clouds, doing the

Backstroke in the tranquility of the sky. I am peaceful but mostly I am safe.

No more hurled insults, no more shattered dreams, no more angry hands, no more good deeds left unnoticed, no more yearning, no more missing all of the things I love and have left behind. Nothing, not even one of these wretched truths can steal the serenity these clouds offer.

The sound of the electric clock clicking open jerks me back from the sky’s refuge. I am slammed back down to prisons secret world. I exhale, freedom leaves my body. I gasp to recapture it, but it’s already gone. Suddenly I’m the 37-year-old woman emerged for eternity in the consequences of her 19-year-old self’s crime. I am clearly not that reckless teenager. I’m simply paying for her mistakes. I owe her that. I continue to smile because I know that one day I will be able to look at this same clouds from a location beyond this fence.

But I have to ask myself, will I appreciate them as much?