Tracie

My first name is Tracie

On a bad day it meant: I was a failure, a black sheep, a nothing

On a good day it means: I’m funny, beautiful, a survivor.

On a bad day it felt like: being a city away and having to walk all the way home barefoot

on hot asphalt and when you finally see your house in the distance, the road suddenly

opens up and down and you have to figure out how to get to the other side.

On a good day being me feels: as exhilarating as riding a bike all by yourself for the very

First time with no training wheels

It is the negative words of others drilled into my head,

The names: Bitch, Whore, Loser, Failure, Inmate

The names that aren’t mine!

Evil, Slut, Dummy, Bad

Those names have played again and again in my head,

Bitch, Whore, Loser, Failure, Inmate

The names that aren’t mine!

Those names lead me to believe I was all of those bad things,

So on those bad days instead of remembering that I was Tracie, The funny, beautiful, survivor

All I could hear was your voices reminding me, I was the failure, the black sheep, the nothing.

Today, however; I realize I am none of the bad names you called me.

I am Tracie. The woman who is smart enough to finally see that the only things I am is- that which I claim to be.