Written: May 5, 2021 By: Tracie

When my boyfriend Joey watches Bruce Lee movies, I know he’s thinking of his late father. Although his parents were divorced, he was a great father. He still saw and fathered Joey to the fullest. He took him fishing, and he taught him many things. And one of the things they loved to do together was to watch Bruce Lee movies. When Joey was 12, he lost his father to cancer. Today, Joey loves to fish and do things he once did with his dad. Although fishing takes him away from spending time with me, I’m happy for him that he gets to do stuff he loves outside of work to support our family.

That’s really what attracted me, you know. The kind of Dad he was. “Single father” as his BADOO advertisement said. I clicked that handsome guy looking all too Good to be true. He got my “like” and my profile pic, which was designed in a sexy kitten filter. I was only in my 4th month home, after serving 23 years in Prison. I was learning the outside world and all this new technology.

So yes, I was on this dating site, BADOO, and I found Joey. Mind you, I was on this site at the recommendation of the first guy I made the mistake of getting involved with. In short three days after I came home, my bestie, China, helped me secure a job as a hostess in a 5 Star restaurant. And like I said, I was away 23 long-ass years so I pretty much fell for the first guy that sweet talked me and the most convenient guy. He was only 28; I was 42. Not really cradle robbing as my development was literally ARRESTED at age 19. So even though my birthday and body aches made me old, I was still a young at heart. Not to mention, this world out here was brand new. I’m not making excuses cause I did nothing wrong just explaining my rationale at the time.

Don’t worry I’m going to get back to Joey. But I have to explain how fate led me to him. First, back to the first guy. Another thing that made him convenient was he worked with me. I was in a halfway house and could not go anywhere but to work. And the biggest thing that made him seem like the one is he had a two year-old son.

So now I have to take you back some more; I may have written parts of this before. But I could never tell this part of the story enough. I have another best friend at York who is doing life without Parole. Because I knew that I wasn’t going home until I was in my mid forties, I used to obsess over never being able to be a mother. I dreamed of becoming a mother as a child. When I started to obsess, my best friend would soothe me by saying, “Don’t worry God is preparing a family for you!” I used to question her, “How, what do you mean?” She’d say “lots of mom’s die leaving kids motherless; lots of mothers just leave. God is preparing a family for you.” I didn’t fully grasp it at the time but she was right. And it comforted me.

So that’s why I was confused. I thought perhaps the 28 year-old who was so convenient was the one, just because he had a two year old son. But, he wasn’t a single father at all. He was very intertwined with his baby mama. He said they were broken up.

But baby mama wasn’t broken up with him. She began to prank call the restaurant where we both worked, this elegant 5 star place, and stalk and harass me. First, she called asking for, “The Murderer” Thank God, I was honest with all my co-workers and bosses about the fact that I had just gotten out of jail for Felony Murder. So they defended me. They’d taunt her back and say, “Which murderer we’ve got lots of murderers working here.” Then she started disguising her voice, asking to speak to the restaurant manager, pretending to be related to the victim in our case. When I would answer the phone, she would threaten me saying, “I’m going to shoot you and kill you like you killed my sister.” I knew she was lying about being related and had not even read our case newspaper articles because she’d know there was no gun involved.

Her phone calls escalated from just threatening me to threatening to blow up the whole restaurant with everyone in it. We knew for sure now it was her calling because when she said she was going to kill me and everyone in the restaurant, I taunted her a bit and lied, “if you do that, you’ll kill my unborn baby!” She forgot the character she was playing and exposed herself by stating, “What? You’re pregnant ? P said you’re too old to be pregnant.” Now that we had a positive ID My boss had enough to call the cops. I threatened to break up with P and he immediately folded. He gave up his baby mama’s full name and address.

I had just come home from prison. I didn’t want to go back. But here I was a part of calling the cops. Ugh.. so i did what was right. When the officer came and counted the number of customers on both sides of the restaurant and all the staff, including and especially me, he said, “Look I can arrest her right now for terroristic threats and she will go away for a long time.” I looked at the officer as we sat in the booth inside the restaurant, across from Bushnell Park. And I told him my truth. I don’t want her to go to jail. She’s a mom who has a little boy. Like I’d never want to be responsible for that. All I want is to be left alone. Go to her and tell her I’m breaking up with him. Tell her she can have him but she has to leave me alone. Tell her what it will be like if she goes to jail. Ask her, if she goes to jail who will take care of their son? Scare her. Tell her about kids that grow up in DCF, just don’t arrest her. Just get her to leave me alone.

God was with me, and the officer agreed. He didn’t want to send a young woman to jail after hearing about me going away as a 19 year old child, coming home 23 long years later. Who would? He went to her and followed the script.

And I did my part. I went to the guy I was dating and said that in light of all this, I’m breaking up with him. I said, he had a baby with her; he has to deal with her for the rest of his life. I don’t. I said no hard feelings but I’m not trying to go back to jail. I told him that obviously she still loves him. So figure it out. But I’m no longer involved.

A few days later, the calls had completely stopped. And it was peaceful in the restaurant. The boss watched closely to make sure P and I didn’t cross paths, but believe me I was done. I was not going back to jail for anyone. My birthday had passed and I was standing at my hostess station, no customers yet, toying with my phone. I was on a dating site. I forget the name.

Somehow P sneaks past the boss and is looking at my phone screen over my shoulder. He says, “dating sites already?” Offended, he was lurking, trying to be funny. I said, “No cute guys so far.” So P said, “Want cute Puerto Rican’s like me? Go on Badoo!” And he proceeded to spell it out for me! So you know what I did? I downloaded the app.

And there on Badoo, I found Joey! My real baby daddy! The reason it didn’t work with P is because he was not the one. Sometimes in life we open the wrong door and we gotta hurry up and shut that shit so God can open the right door. Joey is the one my best friend in jail prophesied about. As I was telling you earlier he looked too good to be true. See I wasn’t looking for mad money and an easy ride. I’m not that kind of girl. I had been through enough and I wasn’t looking to go from bed to bed until I found the right one. I just wanted what my friend had promised. But he had to be sexy, he had to be sweet. He had to be someone I could fall in love with and someone who would listen to all my millions of pre and post jail stories.

I really didn’t know all that i wanted then, but it’s like somehow God packaged them into Joey. He was everything I ever wanted. Our family here is too natural to explain. We are in our little White House, no picket fence, with our children who are all loved, nourished, supported and happy. Ok, maybe way too spoiled, but we can’t help it.

See, Joey learned from his dad how to be a good father and love his children. I’m sad he lost his dad at such a young age, but I’m happy he had him while he did. Joey is a good man. And I’m happy to share my life with him.

Our relationship has not been 100 percent roses and Champagne. We have had our issues but he loves me and respects me and he has given me the most precious gift in the world. He has given me the Gift of Motherhood. These children who I have been raising with Joey since January of 2016, are not born of my belly but they are born of God’s blessing. And I’m so blessed to have them.