First published and performed with JDPP

Looking at you today, I realize an apology is long over due

All those vicious attacks, you never provoked any of them.

All the scars you still bare today and never deserved that I inflicted upon you.

You always endured, you never held a grudge.

You never stopped hugging.

You kept on helping me write, to press on and flourish with my art.

Never once did you say, “no Tracie. I quit. You’ve abused me one too many times!”

How could you be so forgiving of all those volatile fits of rage taken out on you?

Every time I had an I-hate-my-life moment,

I looked at you and wanted to rip you to shreds.

I tore you apart when you’d done nothing wrong.

And you always healed so well,

It’s like you were trying to keep my dirty little secrets.

You were the only way I knew how to deal with my pain since I was a teenager.

I need you to know how sorry I am that my foolish wrath allowed me to tear you to pieces and dishonor you.

My god, you were so kind; through it all, you kept on feeding me.

You helped me tie my first shoelace, make my first peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I am ashamed of what I did.

I haven’t hurt you in almost eight years and I think you trust me now.

The funny thing is I trust myself. I can get angry today and not have to fear that I will take it out on you.

So Dear Wrists, my loving lifelong supporters; Please know I am truly sorry. No matter how bad things get I will never hurt you again.

2 comments

Leave a reply to 23 Years An Inmate Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.